November 29, 2003
New Book!
Like most of America, I went to the Outlet mall with some friends on the day after Thanksgiving to shop. I didn't really find anything that I wanted to buy for myself or my family. BUT, I did find this gem of a book: "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel" by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht, it's got a ton of useful information that you can use when something happens while you're travelling. Like, maybe a runaway camel, or get this, UFO abduction! Wheee! I could not resist buying the book. For $5 it was pretty tempting. Read on for more photos. You can click on the pictures for a bigger image.
This was what caught my eye first. How to foil a UFO abduction.
1. Do Not Panic.
Umm... right.
2. Control your thoughts.
How the hell am I supposed to do that when I'm busy panicking?
3. Resist verbally.
If I say "u-u-u-u-f-o", will the aliens think I'm too stupid to abduct?
4. Resist mentally.
I guess I'll also have to think "u-u-u-u-f-o".
5. Resist physically. Note that this is shown as a last resort.
Yeah, like I'd slap an alien. Then again, maybe they'll get their eyes poked out when I point and say "u-u-u-u-f-o".